Balance isn't real life.

I tried to make Pinterest cupcakes once. You know the picture: perfect swirls of icing, little pastel sprinkles, Martha Stewart herself nodding in approval.Mine looked like a tray of melted snowmen. Nailed it. That’s what “balance” feels like. Some glossy picture in your head of how life is supposed to look — and then the real thing comes out crooked, sticky, and a little embarrassing. Everybody keeps telling us to find balance. Work-life balance. Family-career balance. Food-exercise balance. Balance between chasing your dreams and keeping the house from falling down.

Here’s the truth: balance is a scam. It doesn’t exist.

Because in real life?

• You either light the fancy candle and forget where you put the lighter.

• Or you take the bubble bath and hear someone yelling through the door.

• Or you give up and call scrolling TikTok “meditation.”

And somebody somewhere still wants to tell you that the answer is “balance.” I call bullsh*t. Life isn’t a scale. It’s a circus act. Some days you juggle three balls without dropping them. Some days you take one in the face and walk off stage. Balance is just another word we use to shame ourselves when things don’t look like the picture.

So here’s the thing: forget balance. Here's the better question — what matters most today? Do that and call the rest what it is: background noise.

That’s not balance. That’s survival. That’s wisdom. That’s real. Let's all just be real and forget about trying to balance.

“If you always do what interest you, at least one person is pleased." Katharine Hepburn

Delightfully out of balance:

• Eat breakfast for supper - grits and bacon taste better after 7pm

• Order takeout when the fridge is full - because who cares - you wanted pizza.

• Take a nap at 10am - because you can.

• Wear sequins to the grocery store - like its the Met Gala.